Pressure...

Because sometimes, a child cares so much that the pressure attached to an expectation becomes overwhelming. As demands increase, they may try to regain a sense of control by changing the rules, delaying completion, withdrawing, or refusing to take part.

This is often misunderstood as avoidance or defiance. In reality, they can be attempts to manage anxiety, perfectionism, loss of autonomy, or the emotional weight of other people's expectations.

The child is not necessarily avoiding the task itself. They may be avoiding the pressure that has become attached to it.

Understanding this shift in perspective can help us to ask “What is this child trying to protect themselves from?”

Because when we become curious about what it is protecting, we create the possibility for understanding, connection, and support.

Extract from Could Try Harder by Eliza Fricker

Join me this Wednesday evening for my event What If They Are Trying? 7.30-9pm.

We will be discussing the themes from the book and rethinking struggle, expectations and neurodivergence.

What if the problem isn’t that a child isn’t trying hard enough…
but that we’ve misunderstood what’s really going on?

There is also a one of a kind print giveaway too.

So I hope you can join me to unpick some of the stuff for our children and ourselves.

See you there x

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/what-if-they-are-trying-could-try-harder-online-book-launch-tickets-1986070486288