Fixing...
We want to just be able to say is “this is hard”
“I’m not enjoying this” or I’m exhausted even when I’m resting”
But instead, there is never ending advice.
Because too often the people who are connected to this so called support are often also the places where we will be judged or scrutinised, because after all they have their own agenda.
There is even a term “compassion fatigue” which in itself seems an acknowledgement of this unpaid labour and the cost to ourselves but what if it is actually being used against the parents who seemingly wain after years in a role that is not recognised. First we are too anxious, then we can’t bothered.
But what if it is because we have heard it all before and so the offer of solutions is actually saying we haven’t tried hard enough, there are fixes and ways out and through this if only we would only muster more, try harder.
This builds shame which only has one way to turn, on ourselves.
A voice on our shoulder saying that others manage this, others don’t snap, run out of steam, they even know how to do it all.
But we don’t want fixing, what we want is people brave enough to hold space for us when it is hardest to do so. Because when we allow ourselves to stop fixing we also allow compassion in instead, “that must be very hard” “I can’t imagine how that made you feel”
A sharing, a union.
(I’ve only met a few who can actually do this authentically and I remember them all)
That’s why I will be holding a special session on Tuesday, Somewhere To Put It All, a fully interactive webinar for you to process your experiences and a space to put down what you’ve been carrying.
Through simple, guided writing and drawing exercises (no experience needed), you’ll be invited to gently process what you’ve been carrying, at your own pace, in your own way.
No solutions, no fixes but a time to make space for you and offer some self compassion and a place to put down some of the load.
No drawing or writing skills needed, just an hour and half of time for you.x
Tuesday 5th May at 7.30pm




Hi Eliza, Sounds great. Does that take place here on Substack?