"When they look back over their lives, many women tell me that the question 'What do I want to happen?' was rarely at the forefront of their minds. They tell me how important it was for them to be liked by others when they were growing up, and how many of their decisions were based on pleasing others rather than themselves.. They tell me how they cut corners off themselves, in order to be more acceptable to others. In order not to upset them.
As women think back over their lives, and as they watch their children grow in their own lives, many of them start to rediscover the parts of them which got lost along the way. They realise that as they were growing up they had to squash part of themselves, that they were pushed to conform to a mould which didn't fit. And when it didn't fit, they felt that the problem was them, not the mould or the pressure. They felt blamed for their lack of what they saw as conventionality. Blamed for their difference to everyone else. And they absorbed this into themselves. Their story became they were not good enough, that there was something wrong with them.."
Extract by Dr Naomi Fisher from Thumbsucker by Eliza Fricker
Join me this Wednesday lunchtime when I will be sharing how my child's diagnosis was the unlocking of my own self exploration.
A chance to rewrite narratives.
I hope to see you there.x